Cummins Confidential : Portable Foods Manufacturing / Kelloggs / Kellanova – Barefaced Liar Gemma Penk’s New Venture Part 4

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Fuck me, here we are at Part 4. I thought we’d scraped the bottom of this festering barrel after three instalments, but no – the shit just keeps oozing out. It’s like trying to clean up a sewer with a teaspoon; every time you think you’re done, another wave of crap surges up. Kellanova, that bloated corporate beast spun off from Kellogg’s, just can’t stop providing ammunition. If you missed the earlier rounds, let me jog your memory without boring the piss out of you.

In the first instalment, we ripped into the strikes and worker exploitation that left thousands grinding through endless shifts for peanuts, then in Part 2 we turned the spotlight on the dodgy health claims and recalls that turned breakfast into a lottery of salmonella and metal shards – all while they peddled “nutritious” bollocks to unsuspecting families. By Part 3, we were knee-deep in the eugenics legacy, child labour horrors in the supply chain, and their brazen fight against labelling the genetic Frankenstein’s they stuff into your snacks. And now? More. So much more dirt that it demanded another chapter in this grim saga. These bastards aren’t just incompetent; they’re predatory, and it’s time to drag it all into the light.

Bullying the Little Guy: Suing a Food Truck Over a Pun

Start with this gem of corporate arrogance. Kellanova slaps a lawsuit on a tiny Ohio food truck called L’Eggo My Eggroll for daring to riff on their “Leggo My Eggo” slogan. A small business hustling egg rolls from a van, and these giants come thundering in with lawyers, demanding they scrap the name and any whiff of similar branding. It’s not about confusion – who the hell mixes up waffles and egg rolls? It’s about flexing muscle, crushing creativity under the boot of trademark tyranny. Outrageous, isn’t it? A mega-corp with billions in the bank picking on the underdog like some playground bully shaking down kids for lunch money. And for what? To protect their precious frozen discs of dough? Piss off – this is the kind of shit that makes you want to torch your toaster in solidarity.

Engineering Addiction: Hooking Kids on Junk Food Poison

Then there’s the real gut-puncher – a class-action lawsuit accusing Kellanova and their ilk of crafting ultra-processed snacks like Pringles and Cheez-Its to be as addictive as crack. High sugar, fat, salt combos designed in labs to hijack your brain, leading straight to obesity, diabetes, and a lifetime of health hell, especially for kids. They’re not just selling food; they’re peddling dependency, marketing this crap to children like it’s harmless fun. A Chicago teen’s at the heart of it, suing for the damage done, and it’s about time. How many families have watched their loved ones balloon up on this engineered filth, while Kellanova rakes in profits? It’s criminal, pure and simple – these fuckers know exactly what they’re doing, turning playgrounds into pipelines for disease. If this doesn’t boil your blood, check your pulse.

Culture War Bullshit: The Dylan Mulvaney Backlash

Don’t get me started on the “woke” boycott fiasco. Kellanova trots out Tony the Tiger for a photo op with transgender activist Dylan Mulvaney at the Tony Awards, and suddenly the right-wing outrage machine kicks into overdrive. Accusations of “sexualising” products, promoting agendas – all because a mascot hugs someone different. Boycott calls fly, sales dip, and the company scrambles. But here’s the raw truth: it’s not about protection; it’s manufactured hate, stirring up division for clicks and votes. Kellanova dipped a toe in inclusivity and got burned, exposing the ugly underbelly of intolerance. Whether you buy the “woke” label or not, this shitshow highlights how corporations play both sides, virtue-signalling one minute and caving the next. Infuriating, hypocritical bollocks that leaves everyone pissed off.

Screwing Workers and Poisoning the Planet: The Usual Suspects

And let’s not forget the wage theft – over $17 million in penalties for stiffing employees on overtime and minimum pay across decades. Workers slaving in snack factories, denied what’s rightfully theirs, while the boardroom feasts. Pair that with nearly $300,000 in environmental fines for polluting air and water, dumping waste like they own the bloody planet. These aren’t slips; they’re patterns of greed, treating people and the earth as disposable. Outrageous doesn’t cover it – it’s systemic rot, and Kellanova’s got it in spades.

Texas Takes Aim: Deceptive “Healthy” Claims Under Fire

Finally, the Texas AG’s probe into deceptive marketing – slapping “healthy” labels on cereals loaded with sugar and crap, misleading parents into thinking they’re doing right by their kids. It’s the same old song: false promises for profit, now under official scrutiny. If this leads to real accountability, great – but don’t hold your breath; these giants wriggle out too often. Still, it’s a spark of hope in this mess.

What a clusterfuck, Penk’s new venture might look polished, but underneath, it’s the same engine of nasty exploitation. Similar to her personality, some might suggest. If this doesn’t make you rethink your next snack run, nothing will. Stay angry, folks – it’s the only way change happens.

Lee Thompson – Founder, The Cummins Accountability Project

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